Do Not Shake Hands With This Woman

Jessica Alba was on the "Tonight Show" recently. This is one beautiful but strange young lady. She has a compulsive obsession about dirt and germs. She described to Jay how she needs to carry anti-bacterial wipes with her, and use them for any foreign surface.

Is her petite compulsion the only interesting thing they could find to talk about? Jessica says that she, "has to know," what, if any, foreign substances she may encounter. Jay even presented her with a UV-emitting bodily fluid detector.

I know that there are some harmful bacteria out there, but have you ever heard of washing your hands? Studies will prove that anti-bacterial sprays, soaps, wipes and other products, actually do more harm than good. Human beings could not survive without beneficial bacteria, which perform tasks throughout the body.

One of the places where bacteria are hard at work, is in the intestines. Half of the mass of human feces is bacteria. It didn't come from the food. Our bodies produce acidophilus bifidus, which breaks down food.

Every time I open a yogurt, I am doing so to unlock the acidophilus.

Then I flipped to see Dave tease Lindsey Lohan, trying to get her to name boyfriends. She asked, "why don't you talk about who you are dating," or something, and Paul chimes in, "because we're so old!." Letterman leaned back and agreed, "Yes, it's because we're old, we are so DESPerately old."