Eyeglass World "Robin"

Based on the marketing for Eyeglass World, one could infer that the target demographic for eyeglasses is young women. First there was "Jamie," a blonde who looks a little like actress Jennie Garth. Then there was "Angie," a brunette with straight hair and a pencil skirt, shown browsing on her mobile device while passing time at the airport.

The "Jamie" commercial is practically void of cultural cues. It's a thirty-second story about a young woman who wants stylish frames for low prices. On the other hand, "Angie" deploys cultural markers a little bit more. "Angie" is a confident woman who combines style and business savvy. The camera pans right to reveal her chic mustard handbag.

The latest ad, "Robin," is one long cultural beacon. "Robin" is depicted at her wedding reception.

"Robin got the dress she loved, the flowers she loved, and the cake she loved for a price she really loved. Not surprisingly, Robin shops at Eyeglass World."

It's her wedding day. Did Robin also get the man she loves? Perhaps "tolerates," is a better word, but "Robin got a man she tolerates," doesn't make good ad copy.

Note grimace on the groom's face as he struggles with the champagne cork. He looks like a keeper, "Robin."

The groom looks over for assistance. She can't help you. It's all she can do to not scratch your eyes out.

Note "Robin's" beige dress. Not her first rodeo.

Note his ill-fitting blue suit. Why did she settle for such a loser? She's almost pretty enough to do porn.

Finally he ejaculates, er, gets the cork off the bottle.

"Robin" is deft enough to catch the cork in mid-air. This may be a euphemism for her mastery over her reproduction.

She controls his reproduction, while he happily raises her children from a previous marriage.

Nice catch, "Robin!"


I'll submit an alternate interpretation of the commercial's metaphors. His struggle with the cork represents his failure to maintain an erection while fucking his insufferable harridan of a wife. Maybe he needs beer goggles.