Albanians

When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1989, there was a bit of collateral effect. One tiny nation, Albania, had been run by the dictator Tito. His legacy: more than 3,000,000 dome-shaped concrete bunkers, in case of invasion by the West. Or, approximately one bunker for each man, woman and child of his nation.

I have had the distinct priviledge of knowing many people of Albanian descent. They are a very proud people. Of what, exactly, I have no idea.

Some may remember an incident in the mid 1990's. This impoverished nation was convulsed in a giant Ponzi scheme. Almost the entire population, simple-minded people who had been denied even a subsistence-level standard of living, completely fleeced by a few early entrants.

The lucky ones were already out of the country by then. Unfortunately for peace-loving individuals, everywhere. Albanian people whom I consider 'nice,' are pathological criminals. For example, when Samir emigrated to Holland, he told me how much he liked the people there. "You see, the people are very beautiful, and happy, and they all have nice wristwatches which are very easy to steal."

Intelligence is not a primary trait of these people. I would phrase their level of brightness, something like, 'clever.' That is to say, completely backward. If an Albanian person is found to be a homosexual, well, that person simply disappears. Tribal justice.

When the Albanian people crossed the Atlantic Ocean, they brought their peculiar sense of honor, here. One person marked for death had his sentence carried out by hook and by crook. This person was invited over to their 'friends' house, late at night. He was greeted with a bullet to the head. When the police arrived, they were told a perfectly plausible story.

The deceased had been breaking into the house, via an unlocked back door, the police were told. The homicide was actually an accident, a case of mistaken identity. The tale went something like, "You see, the house was dark, and I didn't know it was my best friend. I bought the gun on the street from a drug dealer, no, I don't know his name. I bought the gun for my personal safety, because sometimes I have to walk home alone after work, late at night." Case dismissed.

My life may very well be marked. One of these sub-humans enjoined my services as counter-person, at the restaurant Florencia's. The first night of work, I was told to go sweep, then sent home for no reason after ten minutes. The next night, I showed up on time, and put in a four-hour shift. I was told to show up the next day, same time.

Next day, when I arrived, my supervisor was not present. He left word that "he will call" when he needs me. In sixteen years of dealings, I am aware of one characteristic of Albanians: Once the mouth starts flapping, the only thing likely to fly out, is a bald-faced lie. I demanded my wages, and threatened to stay on the premises until I was paid.

That got him riled. He told me to come to his house, and he would pay me. Hah! Won't work on me! I told him to come down and pay me, in person, and he said he would, and ended the phone call with a vicious epithet. The one with Oedipal / Freudian implications.

When he arrived, he had a big, disingenuous smile on his face. He could barely contain his hostility, through his clenched teeth. I demanded my money, and an apology for the "m-fer" comment. He denied even making the slur! And then, he put his hand on my elbow, imploring me to join him in a darkened corner, so I could collect my 'pay.' I refused, calling him a liar, repeatedly jamming my index finger into the palm of my left hand. Dislocated the finger.

I phoned 531-2000, and requested a policeman. My personal safety was in grave danger. I ended up walking away with sixty bucks for three nights work (including the two nights I was instructed to show up, only to be subsequently turned away).

Sixty bucks is at least two hundred dollars short of what I was going for. I already put an entire week in, at the North Park store, under his very fair-minded brother. As a consequence, I am seeking redress through channels. Channels like the Labor Relations Board, to collect unpaid wages. I filed a complaint with Cal-OSHA (because there is no posting of minimum wage, or Worker's Comp, or MSDS info). And, I got one more round in the chamber. The Immigration and Naturalization Service. Why? Just sick of the drivers, who are all in this country illegally. They come here on a student visa, and never attend class. Unless their idea of higher education is shredding the waves all reefered up, and practicing their lethal form of martial arts.

I'll probably let that one go. Not a single driver has harmed me in a personal way. On the contrary, they are some of the most beautiful and good-natured people in the world. Nothing personal against any person of their particular origin.

This profile in racial unity and harmony begins and ends with (most) Albanians.