A clear turning point in my spiritual progress, was the sudden realization, that there is no such thing as Hate. What I mean, is, there is no such force, with any name, that causes anyone to do anything. I came to this conclusion a few days after deciding that there is no such thing as Love.
It was a bit of a struggle, to reconcile a world without love, but easily explaineable. See, love is a construct of our collective minds. It is something we came up with, to create and enhance familial bonds.
Today, I do not believe in extremes. I approach all unknown situations flat, with a centrist mentality. I know that there are extremes, and I know how to utilize them, to my advantage. I personally exist in a world full of nuance, full of lies. The only lies that I currently accept, are harmless little white lies.
Can't believe I actually said that. I am still struggling with that one. I have always believed that a person is either truthful, or not. I also believed that honesty is the best policy.
Today, I firmly believe that it still is the best policy. I just happen to believe, it's not the only useful policy. Since my approach is distinctly utilitarian, and implementarian, I consider the possibility that a lack of truthfulness, when delivered properly (pre-signaling or something) to be very useful.
Why did I decide that love doesn't exist? Simple. I don't like to acknowledge anyone who says, "I love you." Because what they are almost always saying, in a passive-aggresive way, "I need you." Pride gets in the way, and makes people think they are only acting in an altruistic fashion.
Well, let me be the first to tell you that I love you, while I twist the knife.
Okay, so I won't be the first. Maybe among the first to point out the schism. There are loving actions, but no love. There are hateful actions, behaviors and individuals, but, no hate. They are only acting out of fear.
UPDATE: I am reading this eight years later. It is like looking at my reflection in a shattered mirror. The above was written while I was experiencing a psychic break, a nervous breakdown. Too much pot, too little work, a dissipation of my support structure. I cannot endorse any of the ideas expressed here. MLB 12-09-2014
No comments:
Post a Comment