Sensory Overload

I have spent the last fifeteen minutes scanning my available matches on Yahoo! Personals. After seeing page after page of stunning, beautiful women, I couldn't respond any more. At this rate, twenty per day, it will take me all month to catch up!

My ad is called, "One Volt." I used a picture that was taken at Charlie's Restaurant, because I think it has the real mattie smile. I do need to add another year onto the profile, to make my age correct. Then again, why bother? In another month, I would have to do the same laborious process, all over again.

Kind of like my attitude toward daylight savings. I sometimes just let the clock in my car, run an hour behind or ahead. It is a little game that amuses me. I tell myself, "Why bother using my energies to figure out how to change the clock, just so I can push that stupid button? I enjoy calculating my precise bearings, each time I travel. I can add or subtract a one, any old time!

Speaking of subtraction. Looks like I have injured Miss S. in some permanent way. Why else would she move out without consulting me. Why else would she put in her notice to Riviera Management, without informing me. I wanted to stay here! She could have just left, but, no, everything must be pulverized in her wake.

Why else would she call the police department and make up lies. "He's trashing the house!!!"

Well, officer dickhead, we are in the process of moving. All I did, was re-arrange our bed. She wasn't even in the house at the time. Since I have a penis, and the person without the penis made the frantic telephone call, I had to leave the premises, under a policemans eye.

I have never raised a hand to her, nor intentionally damaged any of her belongings. That she could claim to not feel safe, is ludicrous. She is the one with all of the hostility. She is the one who almost drove us into the Maui channel because I made a comment about her driving.

Well, I got what I deserved. I thought I wanted to marry the girl, but it turns out, she was just playing house. And now, she has taken her house, and moved it. But, she still wants to talk!

Start speaking after the beep.