Voter's Guide To California's Ballot Propositions

Short answer: they usually cost money and should be voted against without hesitation. You can count the number of worthwhile California propositions on one hand. Prop. 13 capped property taxes and has been a smashing success. Prop. 187 prohibited illegal aliens from receiving state services like public education. It received nearly 59% support.

But Federal Judge Mariana Pfaelzer, a Carter appointee, blocked 187, and Governor Gray Davis refused to appeal. In the space of a generation since, California's demographics are radically different. The city of Santa Ana is now less than ten percent white.

Prop. 8 stated that "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California," and passed by over 600,000 votes. Black voters who put Barack Obama into office also put Prop. 8 over the top. That's all moot now.

Let's look at the propositions, anyway.

Prop. 51 would authorize nine billion dollars in bonds for schools. Just what we need! More indebtedness for the sake of our failing public schools.

Propositions 52, 53, 54 just don't care. There are eighteen statewide propositions on the ballot. Too much.

Prop. 55 extends the tax increase on Californians earning more than $250,000. Or, in the language of the proponents, it will ensure that the "wealthiest Californians continue to pay their share." Notice that they always call them the "wealthiest" instead of the "most productive."

Never mind the subversion of morality that allows society's takers to vote on measures that confiscate the earnings of the makers.

Prop. 56 raises the tax on a pack of cigarettes by $2.00. Why not by ten dollars?

Prop. 57 would increase parole and good behavior opportunities for felons convicted of nonviolent crimes and allow judges, not prosecutors, to decide whether to try certain juveniles as adults in court. These are two very distinct propositions that really should be voted on separately.

Prop. 58 repeals a previous initiative that mandated English-language instruction in public schools. It's the current year, and the idea that our citizens should understand the mother tongue is so retrograde.

Prop. 59 encourages our state's elected officials to use their authority to overturn Citizens United. Should California elected officials propose overturning the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution?

Prop. 60 would require those producing pornography to wear condoms. Yeah, we really need a state commissioner inspecting bukkake shoots in Chatsworth. The upside to this would be that these productions would move out-of-state.

Prop. 61 requires state agencies to pay the same prices that the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) pays for prescription drugs. Vote yes on this if you support drug shortages.

Prop. 62 repeals the death penalty. California hasn't executed anyone since January 17, 2006. The fuck we even have it on the books for?

Prop. 63 prohibits the possession of large-capacity ammunition magazines and requires certain individuals to pass a background check in order to purchase ammunition. Which part of "shall not infringe" is hard to understand?

Prop. 64 legalizes recreational marijuana. A stoned electorate is a placid electorate.

Prop. 65 redirects money collected from the sale of carry-out bags by grocery or other retail stores to a special fund administered by the Wildlife Conservation Board. This requires the passage of Prop. 67, the plastic bag ban. Maybe the ban and its tax will fail, but the Wildlife Conservation Fund initiative will pass. They will probably take it to court and infer that the voters' intent was to pass the bag ban and tax anyway. Fuckers.

Prop. 66 changes the procedures governing state court appeals and petitions that challenge death penalty convictions and sentences. Probably a yes here. But what a gigantic clusterfuck with competing propositions. If this one passes and so does 62, the one with the most votes will become law. Whatever.