Kendall Has Two Mommies

An anthropologist who studies the Kardashians and how they reflect culture would have to come to an indisputable conclusion. The thing that is beyond dispute, is there is no such thing as the "patriarchy." A patriarchy is a system of society in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.

Family matriarch Kris was brought into negotiations between her daughter, Kim, Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild producer and convicted statutory rapist), and Vivid Entertainment. Mom pimped her daughter out for $300,000 and a share of the profits.

Kris also endorses her daughter Kylie's relationship with 25-year-old rapper Tyga, which began a day after Kylie turned 17. Kris probably thinks the somewhat scandalous and highly illegal sexual relationship will help the brand.

This family uses men as supporting actors and their children as stage props. Every single one of them is a sharmuta, a whore, with no redeeming qualities or ethical considerations.

It was so bad for Bruce, that he decided life as a woman would be preferable to being a macho Olympic hero.

Kris told her only son, Rob, that he was a fat slob and that he’s losing out on business opportunities because no one wants someone as huge as him representing their products. A mother's love, huh?

Kourtney called her husband, Scott Disick, a "piece of shit," on television. Scott's substance abuse is Kourtney's storyline, and Scott recently entered rehab. Thoughts and prayers.

Lamar Odom, Khloe's husband, has made international news with his drug and hooker binge and subsequent hospitalization. What was most frightening about that, was that Khloe was making all his medical decisions. What a great storyline a comatose NBA star would have been. That would be an automatic renewal, at least another season.

I'm glad Odom is recovering. By many accounts, he has had to overcome many obstacles in his life. I hope he makes a full recovery, and doesn't need any money, because I want him to tell the world all the dirty little secrets the Kardashians hold so dear. I want him to rhetorically set fire to the whole fucking empire, and burn it down.