Regina

I just got home from work. I am shaking with what I believe to be an anxiety attack. I hurried through my tasks and left early, just so I wouldn't have to face Regina. I don't have anything to be anxious or afraid about. My beloved father passed last year, and left me enough money to buy a house, for cash. I believe that I will have to go on medication to control this anxiety.

For several months, I have been suffering severe upset stomach. I have eliminated every food imaginable, hoping that I was suffering a food allergy. I will be seeing a doctor within the next few weeks to confirm that I don't have an ulcer or worse. I believe at this point it is stress-related.

I believe that there is a middle ground that her and I can come to, and continue to work together. I would like to understand what it is, that I have done, that has so upset her. I have never raised my voice to her in anger. There was one time three years when I used profanity in her presence, but it was not directed at her. I try and always say, "Please," when calling her orders.

What do I get in return? She has never once returned my hello greeting at work. I have greeted her hundreds of times with no reply. She may claim indifference to me in general, but that is outright hostility. I have put thousands of her orders through the window, cheerfully, without so much as a single thank you.

I believe that a hostile, abusive workplace harms everyone around. I also believe that there is a peripheral negative effect on customers. She operates on a principle of shame, not dignity. If there is a problem in a relationship involving her, then it is the other parties's fault, in no way her own. This is why I have held out hope that if I keep improving my attitude, then eventually, it will rub off on her. At the very least, I would be able to hold my head up and feel that I tried.

Unfortunately, about a week ago, I crossed a bridge with her that I cannot un-cross. It involves a story about her that another server told me. I won't repeat it in this letter, but I was deeply offended, and saw her in her true light, or lack thereof.

Perhaps my anxiety is about my fear of keeping myself in check, being afraid of saying something I can't take back. Sounds about right. Anyway, please keep in mind the possibility of a meeting of the minds, as it were. I believe it will make all the difference.