A Last Engagement

A voyage to Santa Barbara, to visit Sarah House, a hospice for low-income individuals.  That makes it sound kind of low-rent, shabby.   Eldest sister has visited, and deemed very nice.  At least the ersatz matriarch is comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones.

Ersatz because the erstwhile patriarch is esconced elsewhere, and kept in the loop.  There will be a few days concluding with Christmas, spending time with her beloved children.  What to do, then, apart from feeling horrified at nature taking its due course?  

There will be time, later, for feeling empty because there will never be another email, or phone conversation.  The time is now for comfort, and attention, at the brink of her lonely exit.

In the background is the guilt of not calling every time the occasion demanded, and not being present at the very end.  And fighting for attention, the nagging feeling that all this exercise is just a bit futile.